When we think they don't understand when they pass away.

Just a little starter....

I created this blog a little over two years ago while I was dating my wife Arielle. It ended up being a little journal for me to write about everything that was occurring in my life at that time. I realized that I was "Blogging" about things I didn't really want everyone to know about; what I was doing and the things that would occupying my mind. Now I want to start where I left off. For those of you who know me, know that I have a difficult time expressing myself and this was a way for me to do so. I hope you enjoy what you read :)

The Influence:

Exactly 4 years ago, at 10:41 a.m. I was sitting with two of my best friends talking about life after the mission and the many goals that we wanted to pursue. At that moment I receive a phone call. I noticed that it was my father calling me for the second time that.This was after his first call which was full of worries with negative updates of my older brother Kameron who was in the ICU fighting lupus. This second call was a call I will never forget, it was the call that would change me for the rest of my life. There has only been 4 times in my lifetime I have heard my father cry, this was one of them. I could hear in my fathers voice that he was trying his best to keep the tears back, but it was too much. The only words he said, backed up with tears and a cry was "I'm sorry Dan, he didn't make it." My loving father had just lost his first born son.

This was exactly 4 years ago from today the 19th of August 2009.

As I was looking for pictures of my older brother, I fell upon this photo that brought me straight to tears. My brother's son, Kason, was only 2 years old (he is 6 now almost 7). Every anniversary of my brothers passing I think of him the most! I can always see my brothers eyes in his, I can hear his voice, and I can see his personality! I love this little boy more than anything at this moment. Although he his far away from me with his wonderful mom and dad, the spirit always overcomes me. It's an assurance from my brother that Kason is doing just fine and that he is very proud of his son :)

But the question I wanted to answer is a questions i've been asking myself for the pass four years and am now able to answer....

Did Kason understand? Did Kason realize what was going on?

Since the passing of my big brother there has been many of my family and friends whose had a close one pass away. The majority of them with children. From members in the military and border patrol to parents passing away from sickness at a young age, my thoughts and prayers have always been with their children in mind. I've always wondered, are they going to be okay without their mother or father? And today it came to my mind again, I wonder if they went through the same thing my nephew Kason had to go through?

Let me explain ...

If you look at the picture you will notice a few things

1. The position he was sitting in

Kason was only two years old, but he knew who his father was, and he also knew what his father meant to him. Kason also knew that he was in a hospital, and he knew that it was a place where sick people went to get help. I knew that that little boy retained EVERYTHING that his mother and family were teaching him while in that hospital. Only a few days of being there I arrived at the hospital only to see Kason run up to me to give me a big hug. These were the words he said to me while I carried him. He said, "Danno guess what? We're at the hopital! Its where sick people get better. Daddy is getting better here!"

That little boy knew that daddy was very sick. But that wonderful little spirit of his was so in tuned with the spirit of God that he was immediately comforted. In this picture Kason wasn't in tears, there wasn't anyone holding him to prevent him from doing something stupid. Kason just sat there next to his best friend, his daddy. He was calm as could be because of one reason ... Kason knew!

This moment remind me of the Atonement of Jesus Christ in many ways. That moment when our Savior asked the Father that the bitter cup may pass, He wasn't alone. Michael, whom we know was with Christ through many occasions was there to comfort him. A typical two year old in an ICU unit with all these machines and blinking lights, and daddy laying on a bed couldn't be able to sit there completely still and calm without help. Not even my little nephew Kason. And that was because he wasn't alone, the Lord was right there with him. My nephew knew what was happening, and he wanted to be there to comfort his daddy.

2. Kason's look.

In this picture Kason isn't looking at the machines. He isn't looking to either side. With his head slightly cocked back, his look and focus is on one thing ... Dad. Kason probably noticed that his father was sleeping, but he probably also noticed that tubes coming out of his mouth and nose. But he never said anything about it. I am 100% certain that my little nephew wanted to say something to his father, but daddy wasn't able to speak back. Although no words were exchanged, we all knew that there was something Kason had said, "I love you dad."

For many who have had a close one pass away, we all have something in common. The challenge isn't hard when you see your loved ones sick or suffering, the challenge is when they are no longer there. I believe it was the same for Kason. Kason was so in tuned with the spirit, and we all needed him to. My parents often reminded me that I was the strong one spiritually shortly coming off the mission, but it wasn't me, it was Kason. His spirit was held our family together and it was his spirit that kept our faith and testimonies strong to the Lord's Plan of eternal families. But things changed after the 19th. The day my brother passed away we all went home in Sierra Vista. Still in unbelief of what had just happened I started to hear Kason crying with mom upstairs gathering some stuff. I wanted to help but i didn't know what to do. As my sweet sister-in-law Jami came down stairs carrying Kason crying like i've never seen, he screams out three words i've never heard him say while his dad was sick. He screamed, "I WANT DADDY!" :( I remember breaking down in tears while my older brother Matt came over to give me a hug of comfort. We all know that in our life time just like our Savior, we must experience what its like to be without the spirit. That may have been one of those times for my nephew who had just lost his father.

Trials come to all of us no matter the age. And although Kason may not remember these instances when he grows up, his spirit will, and so will mine. The spirit was with Kason when he needed it the most ... when the rest of us needed it. And if it weren't for him our family wouldn't have made it. I know I wouldn't have, but I did. Thanks to you Kasonito.

3. The Touch (I can't hold my tears any more for this last one)

Many people have heard the phrases, "A father's touch" or "The touch of a child". This picture is just that, "The Touch". I can't help but look at this picture and mourn for this strong little boy who was about to loose his best friend. :( I'm sorry to go on a rant, but my brother wasn't suppose to die only two months after coming home from my mission! My brother wasn't suppose to leave behind his two brother without seeing them get married in the temple! My brother was not suppose to leave the love of his life and beautiful wife alone here on earth nor his beautiful little boy without seeing him hit his first home run or get his first kiss! My father wasn't suppose to feel the agony that his father went through of loosing his first born son! My mother wasn't suppose to see her eldest boy suffer and fight so hard for his life! And Jami sure as hell was NOT suppose to be a widow and a single mother at such a young age!

Not one of these things was suppose to happen ... but it did! It did because someone said it could and another person approved.

My Father in Heaven had a plan, and it included everything I just mentioned. It's obvious that none of us were prepare nor saw any of these things happening, and it's something that I have since accepted and appreciate. But who approved? Who said it was okay for this to happen at this time? Who said that the time has come and everything would be okay?

Kason did ...

Look at Kameron's hand, and look at Kason's. Kameron was near death but was holding on. Not wanting to give up because he didn't want any of these things to happen. But in this picture someone had a strong hand. Kason's hand. Kason alone reached over the rail to grab his fathers hand, brought it close to him and held onto that single finger (every father and mother knows that feeling). He isn't just touching his father but he's clasped onto him. Sitting there calm with the support of the spirit and his little eyes fixated on his daddy's face squeezing his finger, and without saying a word the two year old Kason says these words to his father with his touch,

"Daddy I love you! I miss playing with you! I miss watching baseball with you! I miss singing with you and mom together! I miss reading the scriptures with you at night! I want you to know I love you daddy! But I also want you to know something else dad ... everything is going to be okay. You don't have to fight any more. Father needs you to teach His children the gospel. You can let go now dad, I'm going to be just fine. Mommy and I are going to be just fine! She loves you daddy! Your brothers will get married in the temple. Grandma and Grandpa are going to be so blessed. I'll be worthy daddy I promise! I'm gonna go on a mission! I'm going to make you proud! You can go Dad! I promise you that everything is going to be okay! I love you Daddy! You're my best friend!"

When we think they don't understand when they pass away .... we're wrong! These little spirit we have in our lives are more tuned to the spirit than we ever wanted to be. There is nothing more important in this life than to provide physical bodies for our Father in Heaven's children. And while there are here it is our responsibility to learn from them. I believe that the spirit of my Nephew now even though living in Germany, travels a far way to Utah to remind me of the type of person the Lord wants me to be. The experiences that my family went through has allowed me to fully experience the blessings of The Great Plan of Salvation! I know many of you have children and love them so much! I want to thank you for loving them. :) They grow so fast and learn so much. And just as Kason kept us and continues to keep us together, I know that's what every child can do for our families. We just have to Come To Realize (CTR) and allow them to teach.

For those of you who have lost a love one. I commend you for the progress you have made. I commend you for sticking true to the testimony you had once cultivated at a young age. And I love you for being that single parent of those kids that remind you so much of your passed loved one. To you I say "don't stop"! Keep doing what you are doing because there are more people rooting for you who are along side your deceased loved one than there are here on this mortal world. The Gospel of Jesus Christ is a source that always brings the type of happiness that's eternal. It's the type of happiness that everyone seeks and that you deserve. May those who have passed know that we miss them with all our hearts :) and may we make them proud by making decisions that will bring us back to their presence.

Here is to you Kam :) I love you big brother!

Thanks for reading!

Growing up ... but never changing

Obviously there is a time where we all have to grow up, right? Of course i'm right! It happens to all of us weather we like it or not. The one thing i've noticed is that so many people dread it ... but the ones that accept it are more successful and more likely to get to the point they want to be in life than those who don't. Since writing my last entry I have been able to recognize the experiences I have had in my life that has "MADE" me grow up and accept the turning points of life.

Serving as a servant of the Lord:

The first 19 years of my life prepared me for one thing, to go out into the world has a representative of the Lord to testify of Him and call my brothers and sisters unto Him. Sounds deep doesn't it? It is! And it was really really hard! Being a teenage boy and knocking on peoples doors of all ages and telling them that what I had could change their lives and pretty much telling them that their religion was wrong was no easy task. It literally forced me to accept so many things that are out there in the world today and configured my mind to understand what it was I as an individual had to do in order to keep my life on the right path. I had to keep my intellect sharp and my mind open so I don't make any mistakes that would lead me away from the happy life I want. Because of my mission I was able to discipline my mind and my actions to become a MAN of God!

I would have to admit that when I came home from my mission, I was a different person. Although I was still Dan the Man, The Flyin' Hawaiian! I actually think I, as a person am more outgoing than I was before the mission. I am definitely more willing to try things new but the reason why I do is because Life just Started! There are so many things to experience and I don't want to miss any of it. I'm still crazy as awesome, wanting to have fun and meeting new people. Although now its more wanting to make long-term connections so that when Arielle and I are older we know who to go to for help. Before the mission all I really thought about was my appearance, now days its all about working hard, praying harder, learning lots, and earning more.

Everyone knows that when you come home from your mission, the next step is to find that special someone and get HITCHED.... and that is exactly what I did.

On May 13, (friday the 13th) 2011 I was married to my sweetheart Arielle Mecham-Haban. Yes, I expected to get married much later, but there was no way in heck I was going to wait to get married to this girl :). I knew that it was right and I knew the timing was right and I made the right choice. It has only been 6 months, but in those 6 months I have learned and grown so much! Life as a husband is a step in life that changes all perspective, choice, motive, and happiness. My life has been filled with a lot of living up to do including a lot of responsibility, and I have gone through it basically alone. This made things a lot harder doing it alone. I got through it, but how nice it would have been to have someone there. Now i have someone. Church callings, financial decisions, school, work: so many parts of my life I went through by myself and it was hard. I still have all these things to put effort toward as a married man, but this time I have someone to do it with. Its not a question if I can do or not, because with Arielle I KNOW I can. The new question is if i will live up to my calling as a husband, provider, protector, and future father to keep working and get the job done. Over all, I am a much better person mentally, spiritually, and emotionally married than I ever was!

Over all growing up as made me become more a man of God than anything else. The great thing about it is I will always know who I am and what i represent. I am Daniel Haban, on the path of growing up .... but always the person you've fallen in love with since being a kid.

The life of a growing man... starting now!

Its been well over six months since i've updated my "blog". There is definitely been more than a few events worth writing about but they are memories that have been written in my mind and not so much on paper therefore I really don't care if I record it because it is already recorded in my mind. BUT... since there isn't one soul out there who not only follows my blog but doesn't even know my URL to find it, I'm going to turn this "Man Blog" into my own personal journal. There is only one person who knows how to find my blog and that is my beautiful wife Arielle. Arielle has been there in every step I have taken in the past 6 months and having her read it gives me no worries.

In a nut shell I just want to list everything that has happened that I think has molded me into becoming the man I am today. Obviously I wont be able to write them all down but the ones I do are turning points into my life that I think is worthy of writing down.

* Taking Arielle through the temple

I can't tell you words the emotions I experienced when I had the opportunity to take Arielle through the temple. Specifically the Gila Valley Temple! During the 6 months of dating and being engaged, one of our biggest fears was wondering if we were going to make it to the temple worthy of receiving its blessings when we get married. We made it! I promised her that i wouldn't jeopardize that part of us being together forever and it was a testimony builder for me that I was able to keep my part of the bargain. Being in the temple, and seeing my beautiful bride to be in white was the greatest feeling in the world. I will never forget the way I felt walking through the house of the Lord hand in hand right beside the one single person I love the most in this world! Here's to you sweetheart!

* Being Married and sealed to Arielle Mecham

May 13, 2011 finally came and I was once again in the temple, this time the Mesa Temple with my sweetheart to be wedded and sealed for time and all eternity. Yea Buddy!!! All family and friends fill the sealing room and we were sealed by Bro. Perkinson and it was spirit felt and spirit taught to the both of us going into this new life as eternal companions. The words he spoke and the impressions of the spirit allowed this day to be bitter sweat and rewarding knowing that I was finally sealed to the love of my life! Greatest day of my life!!!

* Moving to Texas

Only two days after being married in the temple, Arielle and I had plans on moving to Austin, Texas so that I could sell pest control for EDGE and save up some money for our new lives in Utah! Being in Texas allowed Arielle and I to spend a lot of time alone and get to know each other. Not only that but to see each other in our very highs and especially or lows. It was definitely a growing experienced, but we ended up learning A LOT about each other. Her encouragement throughout the summer allowed me to sell enough to support us throughout our entire first year in Utah and put me into the mind set that I now have a greater responsibility as not only a man, but a provider, priesthood holder, and husband. To be honest with you I love the calling and I love the one i'm doing it for. There is definitely a time where all men have to go through this and where i'm at now.... I wouldn't want to be anywhere else! We had our struggles but we got through them, we had our financial difficulties, but the Lord provided a way and we got through it. We had our differences, but we talked it over and made them our strengths. I love my wife and our time in Texas was not only necessary, but rewarding!

* Being apart for an entire month!

Being apart from your spouse... at any time... is the worst experience ever. And I highly discourage it!!! While in Texas Arielle and I decided that I would stay in Texas for a time until I sold a certain amount for us to make more money and that she would move to Utah to start school at BYU. The anticipation of her leave was difficult. I think Arielle saw me cry more times during that time than she will in our entire life time. I hated it! I didn't want her to leave one bit. But during those time I was able to realize how much she meant to me. How much love I have generated toward her since being married! I love her so much and I didn't want to be without her. The day she left I cried and cried, I didn't want to leave the airport and I didn't want to go home. It was hard, but we made it through. If it weren't for phones and skype I would have gone crazy! We had a really hard time being apart, especially with the fact that she was alone in Utah. We were apart for almost a month until I was able to sell enough and I came home to her. I drove to Arizona and my father drove up with me to Provo. Our reunion was very much needed in different ways. She was more beautiful than ever! She smile shined brighter than before her kisses sweeter than I remember. I knew my place in life was with her, next to her, close enough to kiss her and tell her to her face that I loved her! We Made it and i'm

* Utah! Finances! And Job Hunting

Never in my entire life did I think that I would have a life in Utah. I didn't want one and here I am for almost two months living in the cold and trying to figure out how to start my life all over again. I like it here... Its nice! People are super cool, the church is great and the view is beautiful. The only thing I don't like about it is that whenever you want to go and do something fun.... you have to spend money. I miss when you have to think of something to do and you go created and you had crazy fun and made awesome memories. Now a days its go somewhere to spend money and the only description you have to a memory is the name of the business you spent money at... don't like it. But on the bright side there is definitely a lot of opportunity and a great place to start your life as newlyweds. Financially... our first full month here we struggled. My paycheck wasn't as big as I thought it would be and that was our only income for the month. Courageously we made a plan, we weren't stupid about our spending and we made it.

To be honest with you there were a lot of times I wanted to give up. Especially when during the three weeks I could have worked I was sick for two of those weeks! I was upset and I almost gave up on my faith, but then there are those times when you drop down to your knees and the Lord would let you get up until you're ready to. That is what happened to me and I'm so happy!!! Extremely Happy and I love it! My relationship with my wife has become superb, my mind is clear, I have more purpose to my life, I'm motivated and on top of that I was able to qualify for two jobs! Yup DOS!!! I work at Kmart replenishing the store and I almost work as a woods craftsman at a store called Crafty Wood Cutouts! I love it and it'll bring in an extra $1000 dollars for my wife and I to live on! Blessing from the Lord.... I definitely think so!

And now here I am, a married man looking for a start to begin my life as a leader, provider, and lover! I hope to be consistent with this journal and hope to have lots of things to write about in this new life I have of Happiness, Direction, the Lord, and of course my beautiful wife! :D Life is good, make it better! 

Sometimes ... I hate myself!

Dear Dan, You were a total ass today. Hate, Yourself!

Thats how i kinda feel right now as i'm about to end a night that could have been absolutely wonderful. Why didn't it turn out the way i wish it did or the way it should have? Because i was a total ass to someone i absolutely love and adore, my girlfriend! I can't tell you the type of person she is and the type of person she makes me feel! She is so sweet and caring and has been amazing to me the past few weeks. I could go on forever talking about all the good things about her and why i fell in love with this wonderful person, but the only thing that is running through my mind is how i treated her tonight. I said something that was absolutely uncalled for. I said something that may or may not be a negative to her or to anyone. But what i said made it seemed that she was classified as a type of person she isn't. As i think about it i finally realized what I've done. I hurt her feelings. I pierced her emotions and i may have made her questioned her feelings for me :( I'm an idiot. If there was one person in my entire life that has made me happier, smarter, more out going, more willing, more disciplined, flat out has brought the best out of me in every aspect .... and who could make me fall in love with them, then its her! Its Arielle Mecham. And its because of this fact that i have these feeling about her that really makes me sick to my stomach that i would do this to her. She doesn't deserve that and she never will. If anything i am in debt to her for so much that she has done for me. Well now i'm gonna give it back!

I didn't get a kiss goodbye, we didn't even share an "i love you!" and its because i didn't deserve to hear it from her. Not one bit! I deserve every sense of hatred, anger and/or "courage" (spanish word) that she had built up after saying what i said. What she did ask was for me to change it, and fix it .... at first i didn't know what on earth i was going to do to fix this one, what i was going to do to change it all. Whatever it is i need to do to fix it, and change "ME", i'm going to do it. And as scared as she may get or she may be in this relationship, Im in love with her! And until she has a damn good reason to break up with me or the Lord tells her that i'm not the one and no one else, I'm hers!!! All i can do is LET IT GO! Because i'm hers, i want to be hers and i hope she wants to be mine. This means that shes only going to get the best. Shes going to be happy every minute shes with me. I'm gonna put a smile on her face every moment i'm with her! I'm going to make sure that she knows shes safe with me and that nothing will ever happen to her. I'll never let her forget that i love her! That shes the person that makes me want to be more like Christ. There isn't more that i could ask for in a woman, its all in the one i love now. So heres to you Arielle ......... Heres to me running with you! Giving 100% every day were together. Making you feel like the queen you really are. Allowing you to know that i am absolutely in love with the most BEAUTIFUL AND GORGEOUS AND SWEETEST girl i have ever met in my entire life! I'm yours baby ... and i wouldn't have it any other way.

Best Things Ever and Why: A little bit about "ME"

Last night really sucked for me and it really brought me down to a point where i didn't want to have any contact with one single person ... including my wonderful girlfriend! Sad story i know, good think it didn't last all day because i don't have the will power to put myself through such torture. Seriously though, I did not want to be around anyone all day. The reason being is because i went to bed at 3:30 in the morning because of some negative thoughts that came to my mind and couldn't get rid of. Waking up this morning was a joke because i really wanted to take my rifle and shoot the first Mexican i saw. So ... i realize this post is super negative so I'm gonna talk about what made it a little bit better.

I titled it the best things ever because today the only thing that really could put me in a good mood was thinking about all the fun recreational activities i use to do how it made me feel. Obviously i can't do all of them now because i don't have the time nor the money but looking back at everything i use to do and the rush it gave my life ... those things were the BEST THINGS EVER!

1. HUNTING: My greatest past time is waking up early in the morning well before the sun comes up, grabbing a quick pastry for breakfast, dressing up in warm camo, grabbing my gear, jumping in my truck and heading out to the great outdoors and being able to see the sun rise with all sorts of wildlife roaming around you.  Words seriously cannot describe how peaceful and at times spiritual it is being out there that early and enjoying what you've just surrounded yourself with. And of course there's the whole "killing the animals" ordeal  about hunting. If only everyone could have that experience of actually acting as a predator and understanding the pattern of an actual animal in order to make a kill. There's the terrain, the timing, the elevation, tracking, stalking, scouting, feeding, bedding, source of water, the smell, the vision. Not only that but the time you have to train in order to hike almost 15 miles a day in the mountains. And there will always be the rush of making eye contact with the one your hunting, and making sure your every move is perfect! Your heart starts beating, your adrenaline starts pumping through your veins. Your breathing so hard its hard to make the next move, but you have to! Then the moment of truth when you have the animal in your sights and your shaking! You take that last DEEP BREATH to keep you from moving and finally pull the trigger not knowing if you hit it or not. You wait and you wait and you wait until you start moving to check if theres blood. You see blood, but its until you have that dead animal in your sight when you can finally say, "Hell ya!"

2. SPORTS: What more can i say? I'm an athlete. I'm super competitive and i'm motivated by winning. I know what your thinking, "What a dumb jock! Thinks he is so much better then everyone else just because he can maneuver a ball." It really isn't that at all. Sports to me was a way for me to push MYSELF to reach a potential and if i lost it was because the other guy trained harder then i did. I love to train! I love pushing myself to my limits and realizing the progress i'm making. Makes you feel like a champion, seriously! Knowing that your in top shape, your healthy, and you'd be okay in times of physical needs. When it came to an actual competition i always loved being looked down upon and after a "W" looking at them and thinking, "We're (or I'm) Strong, Faster, Better, and more disciplined then you are and i just proved it! LOVE IT!!! Not to mention all this training allows you to have a pretty good looking body :) Right Arielle and Abbie!?!? 

* The top picture is when i was awarded my two varsity Letterman as a freshman in soccer and volleyball. And the bottom picture was one of my takes when i was voted most athletic for senior best. 

3. MOUNTAIN BIKING: Obviously this isn't me in this picture and of course its not in Arizona. It isn't me because well, i'm taking the picture. And were not in Arizona because Breck and I are in Ogden, Utah our senior year to ride for a week. So why is Mt. Biking amazing? It because once again ... 1. your outside and 2. its another activity to test your physical endurance. Okay so ... your looking at a mountain range and you say to yourself "i can do that!" You jump on your bike and you reach the first hill and .... FAIL! YOU SUCKS! You turn around and go home. Biking is so much fun going down hill, but you gotta go up before you go down. TONTOS! You train and train and you go back and you dominate all the hills and then next thing you know your at the top of the mountain looking over the valley, slipping agua (water) from your camelback, and chewing on an energy bar and say, "Thats right mountain, i just dominated your sorry a$$!" Down hill is always fun! I personally like the 5 foot drop offs and the sharp turns with the high lips that practically allow you to be parallel with the ground instead of perpendicular. Going down hill so fast that you eyes start to tear and then the next thing you know you are at your truck and you just finished a full body workout and you burned some fat! WICKED! Now your in shape and you gave yourself a little confidence boost. LETS GO RIDIN'!!! :)

few more ... this is fun. I hate you for this Abbie!

Actually i change my mind. Thats enough for now maybe i'll continue with it next time. They are fun though i promise! If you want to find out i'll take anyone sometime. Just dont laugh super loud when were hunting .... The aminals get pissed off and wont come play :) jk babe. Chao!

A Very Humble Christmas!

A part from my first blog where I use the word "Hell", this is officially my first blog post. It should be fun knowing that i'm telling all the internet world how i really feel about things, especially my own personal experiences and that only a few, maybe one or two, will read them. So heres to my first entry. Hope you like it.

This Christmas will be only my second Christmas since being home from my mission. The first was fun and eye opening, but didn't end in the way that was so "Merry". This Christmas on the other hand was very humbling and it really allowed me to understand what is truly important to me. It was a quiet Christmas to say the lease. It consisted of only my mom, my dad, and their youngest son, Me :). There wasn't the three of us brothers wrestling every afternoon or waking up early in the mornings to go hunting. There was no running around the kitchen picking off of moms goodies while she wasn't looking. There was no obnoxious laughter at inappropriate jokes that we would make up just to annoy my mother and father. It was very quiet and peaceful, which to me brought a lot of meaning to why I was home for this Christmas.

Besides that fact that the weather this December has been a FREEZING 65 degree average and hardly anyone had their Christmas lights up, i knew it was Christmas .... Because I was HOME!!! All my life I was amazed at how hard my mom and dad worked to make Christmas an enjoyable time .... for everyone else. They were constantly making goodies, and thinking of creative ways to do the 12 Days of Christmas. Visiting people, making plans to call relatives, accepting visits from other people. I knew making a Christmas News Letter was very stressful for my mother but she did it anyway because she was so proud of the accomplishments of her family. This year i got to see that all happen again. The only difference was that i made sure i was apart of it. "I" wanted to make sure everyone had an enjoyable Christmas. "I" wanted to be part of the reason why people smiled the following Sunday when they saw my family and I. But most of all "I" wanted to make my parents proud knowing that their example had been embedded in their youngest son. It was Christmas, and it was a time for me to return back the favor to my parents ... AND SERVE!

I was able to spend a few days with my sweetheart Arielle's family in Phoenix and it was most definitely a joyous time (Thank you Arielle!). My dad wanted me home Tuesday night in time to be able to go home teaching. As much as i wanted to be with Arielle i didn't want to let my dad down in fulfilling his priesthood responsibilities. I got home right on time! And has soon as I rang the doorbell he was all set ready to go! We taught the Strong Family. Its a half Hispanic family and the only reason why my dad wanted me to go with him was to be able to refer his message to the grandparents so they could understand. What a lesson to be learned there from my dad right :) Of course since it was Christmas we gave them a Christmas Message. They were so happy to see me there and they could not stop speaking to me in spanish. I LOVED IT!!! My dad presented his message and i translated. They were so attentive because they were finally able to understand everything. It brought me straight back to my mission and the looks i got when teaching a family that came to know the truth of the gospel. We closed with a prayer a left with hugs, kisses, and shared treats. I was nice to be there with and for my dad.

I finally had time to come home and give my mom a big hug! She needed one, she was going crazy! It was expected to see my mom covered in flour and every other ingredient you can think of since she was once again trying to make enough holiday goodies for those she had on her list. I love my mom! She was so busy but at the same time so happy. haha its hilarious actually! At that moment there really was no reason for me to take my stuff out of the car and unpack ... it was MOMMY TIME! As tempting as it was to start a food fight with my aging parents, i knew it was game time. We got a lot done and i dont think my mom realized how much we accomplished that night. A task she thought would take a few days took .... one night. The next day they were all wrapped and delivered. I was there for ALMOST every delivery. Seeing everyones reaction when they saw me home was rewarding as if i had some type of impact on them while a youth in the ward. It was great to be right there by my mothers side as she served. Love you mom!

Christmas Day! It has always been a family tradition to sleep down stairs around the Christmas tree and the following day to spend a few hours at the lake (because my parents would go to the beach every Christmas while living in Hawaii). The night of before Christmas (also known as Christmas Eve) we snuggled on the floor while watching Meet the Fockers (which was a bad idea because now all they do is joke around about doing the things Mr. and Mrs. Focker would do from the movie ... SICK!) Early the next morning we all woke up laughing because my moms stupid dog kept yelping and we all headed down to the lake. Christmas Day was PERFECT! It was so beautiful outside and we really enjoyed our time having the lake all to ourselves. We got home, unpacked all our fishing stuff and opened the few gifts we had underneath the tree. This is where the humbling begins: The time it took us to open all our gifts took about five minutes. When the last present was opened my dad said with his head down, "Well ... Merry Christmas." I will never forget that feeling i got after i saw that. I brought both my parents together with a big hug and kissed them both and thanked them for this years Christmas and reminded my dad about his home teaching lesson. Pres. Faust said that his greatest Christmas was when the gifts received eternally weren't gifts he was able to handle, but the ones he could feel inside. That was this years Christmas for me. I didn't come home for Christmas to receive gifts i could handle. I came home to receive a gift that i was finally prepared to understand. I came home to my Mom and Dad, the greatest gift i've received!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

The things girls make me do!!!

WHAT THE HELL I HAVE A BLOG!!! That's all i have to say about that. Should be fun, entertaining, and for sure hilarious!!! ENJOY!